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that you're being left out of the loop? ...that people aren't being straight with you because they feel that it's not in your best interests or because they are involved in one way or other ...when even those who are supposed to be your friends do not even try to help you out, rather they feed the thoughts that eat away at your mind by not offering any kind of support but put you down instead or give half meant assurances while thinly veiling their annoyances at you...
...have you ever had that feeling, more than a hunch or instinct, only to be told that it's paranoia or that you're just blowing it way out of proportion and yet there it is right in front of you, and you are alone in this...
have you ever had that feeling...
it's funny when you get to that point in your life that you've worked so hard for... and it's not what you imagined... nor is it what you might want after all...
all i really wanted was for certain people not to blast their music too loud. i mean it's bad enough that they have to be loud when they talk, cough or anytime they open their mouths. that's no exaggeration. to add to everything these people love to sing out loud and they are godawful at it but they love themselves so much, they do it anyways. i mean this is a freaking office and not college or high school, but apparently they refuse to let go of that part of their lives. i'm all for things not to be too serious but if popularity and attention is what they constantly seek. i've given up trying to complain to the admin office. all they do is send out useless notices and only after so many complaints. and the loudmouths often ignore such things and make things even worse just to spite me. how do i know these things? because there is also no real sense of confidentiality either, but that's another thing altogether... the worst part of it all, i've become something of a pariah in the office for making such a complaint and i've been flat out labelled a "special child". those very same people said it out loud for me to hear. yes, like in the mentally challenged sense... funny stuff.
for as long as i can remember, i have always wanted to have a place of my own. this november, roughly 17 years on, i finally got my chance and took it. late bloomer, yeah i know haha. still i think i've been prepared for it mentally, at least i thought i was.
a bit dramatic yeah, but you might say the same thing if you had to put up with the same thing. true enough this doesn't happen every day but it happens often, if i'm lucky, at most three times a week. blasting their music to the point that i could clearly hear the words to some dance version of la isla bonita. this happened today, by the way. i know that was the name of the song because that's how loud it was, loud enough to hear the lyrics pretty clearly and those words going on and on. usually its some generic techno thing, either way they play their music way too loud and sometimes at the worst times, once they did that at 3 a.m. i say they because the guy had his own apartment, same building, then got together with his current girl and moved into her place, about the time the noise problems started, according to the landlord. it's bad enough that the walls are not that thick or soundproofed at all, the neighbors always have to talk loudly and more so when they fight or have friends over. whoever says i can get out of the situation easily enough obviously hasn't rented an apartment before. there is still the matter of the deposit and in this case is worth three months rent. hard earned money that's not so easily replaced. and so far the complaining to the landlord has done pretty much squat. they listened to him for a week before going back to their old ways. well not really, they've gotten i worse. a simple bang on the wall used to get them to turn down the volume, now they only turn it up to spite me. its enough to drive a person insane, to have to try to put up with something like this.
so in the unlikely event that there is some sort of divine intervention or a truly kind heart helps me out and covers for the deposit as well as a month or two worth of rent, i'm stuck here for five more months...
not one with much to do with words, why start a blog?
why else do people do it, to share a thought, an idea, experience or maybe simply to show something...
for a start here's something that i'd really appreciate if you took a looksee
http://ryanan.deviantart.com/
not as good as others, but my work nonetheless. drop a line or three if you feel like it and thanks in advance.
